


A Halla Among the Horses

by cosimosis (Cosimosis)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dalish Elven Culture and Customs, Dalish Elves, F/M, Non-Inquisitor Lavellan, Unbeta'd, We Die Like Men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosimosis/pseuds/cosimosis
Summary: Why would a Dalish elf willingly join the Inquisition? Having chose Vir’Atishan, the Way of Peace, one would think Almari would stay far away from any conflict. Instead, she's working as both healer and horse caretaker. And Cullen can't seem to avoid her.





	1. Chapter 1

To say that Haven was cold was an understatement. Even in the very early months of Fall, there was already a few inches of snow stuck to the ground. But, the cold meant nothing to Cullen, it was more the lack of sleep than anything else that bothered him. The long night watches were finally at an end with the first light of the sun breaking over the mountains, and yet, Cullen was already awake. He did enjoy the quiet of dawn, the few soldiers around the walls of Haven were silent, and steadfast in their guard. He considered dawning his armor for the day, then the sound of hooves and gentle neighing brought his attention to the stables. He was intrigued to see the horses were out into the small, make-shift paddock already. A shock of flaming red between the mounts was surprising though. Interested, he quickly threw his fur mantle around his shoulders and made his way over. 

A joyous voice filled the air as he got closer. Laughter broke the stanzas of an elvish song. Running with the horses was a Dalish elf, the ends of her simple skirt already an inch deep in mud. The little bits of lyrium that still clung to his being started to sing. _A Dalish mage_. All that he had learned about unchecked magic started flooding back. His eyes unfocused for a second, just long enough to fail to notice that she had seen him. Her voice broke his thoughts,

“I apologize, ser! I did not mean to disturb!”

Her bronze eyes were down cast. He cleared his throat,

“No I uh- there is nothing to apologize. I have always been awake early.”

She nodded, and started gently petting the chestnut horse nearest her. Cullen’s lips twitched upward,

“I see Fiacha has taken a liking to you. He tends to give Master Dennet a hard time.”

The elf smiled, “He just needs a gentler hand than Master Dennet gives. He is a very handsome horse, Ser.”

Cullen leaned on the paddock fence and whistled, with Fiacha happily trotting over to his owner. “Well Fiacha, I don’t blame you for preferring a woman’s touch,” he muttered. He looked to the elf, who was braiding the mane of a sorrel mare, and whispering as she did. There was a quick flash of a smile as she whispered. He studied the delicate markings on her face, set in blue so deep it looked almost black. He knew the Dalish tattooed their faces in respect for their Gods, but he’d never learned the names. The commander had to admit, he was intrigued by this woman. 

“I don’t think I’ve seen you before,” Cullen said. She paused for a second, before finishing the braid and turning her attention to the commander. 

“It is good that you haven’t seen me yet then. I mostly work with the healers,” she mentioned, green sparks dancing off her hand in an instant. “But, I have always loved working with the halla wi– well, I’m Dalish, I have to love halla really, and horses are not so different. Master Dennet needs a hand now and again.”

“I do have to wonder what a Dalish mage is doing in Haven.”

The elf’s gentle smile faltered. She moved closer to the fence, as Fiacha moved to join the sorrel horse. She cleared her throat some, “I heard the Herald was to close the Breach. I thought, since that seemed to be the source of some...problems recently, I decided would help. I know you are a Templar, Ser – ”

“Former Templar,” he cut in, voice sharper than it needed to be.

“You were still trained to deal with mages. I can tell you that I’ve only been trained in Vir’Atishan, the Way of Peace. I just want to help set things right.”

Cullen’s shoulders sank, “Whatever problems there may be, with your clan and the Breach, we will try to set right.”

“If there is any way I can help, Ser, please, let me know. I may not be much of a fighter, but as First, my magic is very well trained.”

“I will be sure to inform the Herald that he has another ally then. But that...that would require a name to give him.”

The elf smiled, and Cullen felt his heart stutter. “Almari, ser.”

“Well, Almari, if it’s this early, please do me the favor of dropping the ‘ser.’ I hear it about forty times a minute, and it’s enough to drive anyone insane. Cullen will suffice.” 

“As you wish, Cullen. Now, I’ve got to get the horses tacked up for the Herald and his companions or I’m sure to get a talking to from Master Dennet.”

“If he says anything, you can lay the blame on me.”

With a flash of a smile, Almari nodded, and bowed slightly once more before turning on heel and rushing to get the horses ready for the day. That was when Cullen noticed that she had braided wildflowers into her hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Much ado about mages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention, I'm going to be playing a little with some DA:I timeline things, and some things that happen (ie; this chapter). Hopefully it still kind of works for y'all.

It was always chaotic when the Herald returned from anywhere, be it the Hinterlands or the Storm Coast. It was doubly chaotic when he started shouting as soon as Haven was in sight,  
“We need a healer!”

Cullen, who had been training the new recruits, ordered their stop as he looked up. His attention was quickly brought to the large horns of a Qunari that now followed the Herald, but soon turned his attention to Cassandra, was very clearly injured, hand holding her shoulder where her armor gaped, as fresh dark liquid started to coat the metal around it. _Arrow wound_ , he immediately figured.. As he started to make his way over, a flash of red and a strangely commanding voice, distracted him.

“Please assist Lady Cassandra to the cabin where you first awoke, Ser Herald. You’re lucky, it’s still set for the wounded.” Almari told the group.

The Herald paused for a second, and stared at the elf as he got off his horse, “You’re a healer?”

“I was First to the Keeper, and trained exclusively in healing magics. I can help.”

“Bull, help Cassandra out. Solas, go rest, your magic is exhausted.”

Cullen watched as the Qunari helped Cassandra down (much to her chagrin), and Solas quickly interrogated Almari, before giving the Herald a quick nod of approval. With hand alight in green resting on Cassandra’s shoulder, the small group made their way to the cabin. Almari’s bronze eyes met the commander’s for a brief second. She must have read the unasked question behind them, as she nodded, before returning her attentions to the wound. Meanwhile, the Herald made his way over to the Commander,

“Isn’t that the elf that helps Dennet too?”

Cullen nodded, “Yes, her name is Almari.” The Herald of Andraste raised an eyebrow,

“But she’s Dalish. And so far away from her Clan.”

“She did inform me that there were troubles in her Clan related to the Breach. She wants to help and joined willingly.”

The Herald sighed, “Alright, that’s good enough for me right now. We should meet in the war room, there are some strange things happening in Red Cliff and Therinfal Redoubt that I rather think we should talk about.”

“I’ll inform Lady Cassandra of anything we discuss later.”

“Thank you, Commander.”

With a sharp nod, the Herald disappeared in to Haven, with Varric in tow. Cullen looked back at the recruits, and ordered them to return to their training. He could already feel the headache forming from how the rest of this day was going to go.

* * *

“The mages, I can’t believe that he’s going to the mages! Maker save us,” Cullen muttered as he left the Chantry. He knew Cassandra would not be pleased by that as well. It was best he told her as soon as possible. Luckily, no one decided to bother him on the short walk to the cabin, as if the people of Haven knew the Commander was in a particularly disgruntled mood. He knocked on the cabin door harder than he meant too. The door creaked open some, and a pair of bronze eyes, met his,

“Commander, I must ask you not to knock so harshly in the future. This is a healers cabin after all.” The elf opened the door fully, her arms crossed, and she studied him; he looked pissed off. _Oh Creators, save me now,_ she silently prayed. She watched the Commander’s gloved hand start rubbing at his brow in frustration. Almari’s shoulders softened, “Today has certainly been a long day. Lady Cassandra is awake and she actually is expecting you to speak with her today.” Almari stepped aside to let the Lion of Ferelden in.

“Thank you Almari. If you please, I would like to speak with Lady Cassandra, alone.”

“Of course, Commander, if you need anything, I will be close by, just shout.”

Almari left the cabin, and strayed not too far from it to a patch where elfroot grew, just behind. She was, in all honesty, trying to mind her own business, but the shout of “What?!” from Cassandra may have enticed her to move closer to the window and crouch just below it in hiding. She picked up bits and pieces from raised voices;

“The mages! Apostate mages!”

“Mages are dangerous. If there are abominations among them, we may not have enough to counter them.”

“Some Tevinter mage approached the Herald–”

Almari moved away from the window and returned to picking the elfroot leaves. A thousand lines of thought started in her mind; The mages of the rebellion? Were they coming here? Could there be abominations? What about this Tevinter mage? Mages are dangerous?

Mages are dangerous.

It was Cullen who said mages are dangerous.

A small spark of anger began to burn.

_Mages are dangerous?_ She thought. _At least mages do more than just smite people and swing swords,_ _a_ _nd burn arav_ _e_ _ls!_ _We can heal! To call mages dangerous -!_

“Almari?”

The elf jumped. She was so lost in thought she didn’t hear the Commander come up behind her. She turned, “Ser.”

“If you need to return seeing to Lady Cassandra –“

“She will be up and about in the hour guaranteed, need you discuss more about the mages and how dangerous we are. Commander, if I can make a recommendation, lower your voices next time, please.”

Almari bowed slightly and started to make her way past Cullen, when the _shem_ placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Almari. The mages – “

Cullen started, but he stopped as soon as her bronze eyes met his. There was a fire behind them, a tale of the power she would not use.

“Commander, have some faith in the Herald. He said he will close the Breach, I trust in him to make the best decision, much like a Keeper would.”

“It is incredibly dangerous.”

“And contacting the others, the Templars, wouldn’t be? With your abilities to cut ones like me off from the Fade? From my magic?” Almari’s voice was raised. “My people know better than most that everything has a danger, for Creators sake. Now please, excuse me, I must see to the horses, and find Healer Perceous to take over for me here.”

Almari freed her shoulder from the light grip of the Commander and did her best to not stomp as she walked away. _Childish_ she could practically hear her Keepers voice chastising her.

Cullen looked aimlessly at the Elfroot that had been plucked clean of its leaves. He noticed a yellow wildflower laying forlorn, forgotten in the small patch of snow.


	3. Chapter 3

Cullen could not get the previous day’s encounter with Almari out of his mind, which only added to his sleeplessness. At least the morning sun brought some warmth as it rose, and it also brought the sound of hooves in the paddock. A deep sigh left him; no matter what, the Herald was going after the mages, and perhaps Almari was correct in that he should have some faith in the Chosen of Andraste’s decisions.

The birds song was yet again joined by another and with no rest coming to him, Cullen threw the fur mantle over his shoulders once again and left his tent, forgoing his armor for now. He whistled once, and he could hear Fiacha moving close to the paddock fence as he focused on the ground, walking to where his horse awaited.

He stood silently, idly scratching near the great Ferelden Forder’s ears, and watched the lithe elf move between the horses, making sure each heard some of her song. When her eyes settled on Fiacha, she stopped. Her hair was down, no wildflowers adoring intricate braids. Cullen did not know why, but in seeing that no small flower was nestled in her fiery tresses was a disappointment.

“Do you plan to ride out today, Ser?” she asked, curtly.

“No, I haven’t the time. I expect the mages to be here by the end of the week so – “ he watched her closely, “so I must make sure they are reasonably accommodated.”

“Would that include a Templar, such as yourself –”

“Former.”

“A _former_ Templar such as yourself Silencing them?”

“The Templar order does not needlessly Silence mages –”

“Maybe not the Human mages.”

She said something quick in elvish that the commander completely missed. Fiacha though, left him. The lyrium’s song began again,  _she is dangerous_.

“Almari, I would...I would like to apologize, for yesterday.”

The biting comments that rested on the healer’s tongue instantly left. “Apologize?”

“Yes. Mages are powerful, and could prove useful in sealing the Breach, which is the ultimate goal. I only wanted to note how dangerous that amount of magic in one area would be.”

The bronze eyes turned to the sky, eyeing the green scar that scattered the clouds with a deep hatred. She could practically hear her Keeper;  _take the opportunity to teach. You'll be Keeper one day, and you will have to choose to let them learn by mistake, or teach first._ Almari sighed,

“Then, I must apologize too, Commander. I was...out of line, yesterday. I do know the dangers of too many mages very well. That’s why the clans only have two, at maximum. Others are sent away, to other clans lacking magic, or left to fend for themselves in the wilds if there are no homes in a clan available.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow; he hadn’t known that. He tentatively asked, “And what of Dalish mages who joins the Inquisition for their clan?”

Almari waited a second before grinning, “They become the best healer in camp.” The elven mage relaxed, taking a few steps closer to Cullen. _He looks so tired_ she noted. “Have you slept well, Ser?”

“I thought I mentioned to call me by my name when it was this early,” he quipped.

“That doesn’t answer my question, Cullen.”

A hand subconsciously went to the back of his neck, “I will be fine. One night of sleeplessness is nothing.”

She studied him closely; dark rings were beginning to form beneath his eyes, and he was starting to look pale. Perhaps he was coming down with something. “Cullen, would you like me to help?”

“I’m afraid there isn’t much to help with, Almari.”

“I did tell you that I’ve only truly trained as a healer, yes? I know little else, except for how to tend to halla and horses. My people have an assortment of medicinal recipes that might work.”

The lyrium sang, _You should take me, you’d feel fine. More powerful_. “Perhaps I’ll take you up on it then. Human cures don’t seem to do much for me.”

“That’s because you lot have forgotten much since my kind first met yours. I’ll find you this evening after I go to the tavern. It seems Master Tethras and Warden Blackwall want to meet me since Lady Cassandra spoke of me, apparently.”

Cullen questioned, “Varric wants to speak with you? Be careful Almari, he’s a rogue through and through, in fighting and in speech.”

Light bloomed in her laughter. “Cullen, believe me, I’ve known my fair share of rogues among m– the Dalish. I think I can handle it.”

As Almari turned away, she began to braid her hair.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almari meets the Herald and some of his friends.

On one of the few rare evenings where he was persuaded to go to the tavern (in reality, Cassandra, Josephine, and Leliana essentially scolded him to go take a break), the commander entered to a very loud voice already drowning out the rest of the crowd.

“Now wait a second! You’re telling me, that he went into the caves, even after seeing the giant spiders?”

Varric’s voice carried over the other patrons of the tavern. Cullen quickly found the dwarf, who was sitting with the Warden on his left, and a familiar elven healer on his right. Almari’s eyes were bright with mirth,

“He did! His reasoning was getting a bear pelt was child's play compared to the giant spiders. The fool came out running not two minutes later, his bow and dagger somewhere lost in the cave. His Keeper just shook his head in embarrassment! The whole clan called him all sorts of names for a month I heard.”

Blackwall laughed, “The poor bastard! Imagine if he had to go to the Deeproads! He wouldn’t have lasted a day!”

Varric was the first to see Cullen walking towards them and the dwarf raised his hand in a wave, “Curly! You could have mentioned you knew Wildflower here!”

Almari raised an eyebrow, “‘Wildflower?’”

Varric pointed to her hair, with small violet flowers stuck in the weaves of her braid. A slight blush crept across her cheeks, _she had a nickname now?_ Blackwall sighed,

“You’d best get use to that quick, Almari.”

Cullen sat down across from the elven woman, his eyes trailing to the flowers. He couldn’t suppress a grin,

“The same flowers grew around Honnleath.”

“ _Da’las_ , is one of our names for it, the little gift.”

“My younger sister use to just point at them and shout ‘purple!’ It’s still her favorite color.”

Varric looked at the Commander and the elf, seeing the small shy smiles between them. _Oh, that’s interesting,_ he thought, suppressing a wicked grin. Though, the former Templar’s eyes were not untrained, and he very quickly noticed Varric looking at him. Luckily, for Varric’s sake, the door of the tavern opened with a bang and a loud voice called out,

“Varric, Blackwall! You started drinking without me and Sera? How could you! And you even got the Commander to join in! It’s a miracle.”

Half of the patrons in the tavern stood up as the Herald of Andraste walked in, the other half raised their mugs of ale in respect towards him.

“Well get over here, Mountain Goat!” Varric replied.

“The Herald allows you to call him ‘Mountain Goat’?” Almari asked.

“You should see him when we’re on the job. He finds the tallest peak and scales it like it was nothing, ‘to get a better look around’ he says.”

The Herald joined them at their table, his eyes shifted to Almari. He was tall, rather rugged, and had the air of a warrior around him. She offered a kind smile; being the Herald certainly was not an easy job. At least that seemed to make the warrior more relaxed,

“Cassandra spoke highly of you. Seems you’re quite the healer.”

“I am glad she’s well, Ser.”

He raised an eyebrow, “And you’re also the one who helps Dennet with horses? Malachite is my horse.”

“If need be Ser, I will give extra time to her. She’s quite a spirited mare.”

The Herald smiled and extended his hand, “Jasper Trevelyan.”

“Almari.” She shook his hand, before curling her long fingers around her mug again. Jasper hummed,

“What Clan are you from?”

Almari’s hands faltered for a second, almost spilling her ale. She took a breath, “I hardly think the Clan will take me back now. A First, living among all sorts of beings, and healing them with _our_ ancient magic and remedies? It’s hardly a cause for a welcome home party.”

Jasper glanced at Varric, a question behind his eyes. But he said nothing, and instead ordered another round of drinks, as Sera also plopped herself right next to Blackwall.

“You’re not...too elf-y, are you?” Sera asked her. Almari looked at the rest of the people around her, who quickly gave her the look of ‘do not mention she’s an elf too.’

“Does speaking about the Fade with Solas make me too elf-y?

Sera gratefully took the mug as it was set in front of her. “Too magic-y. But, you can stitch me up in a fix, so, I’ll allow it.”

“Your healing is very impressive, Almari,” Blackwall commented. Almari smiled,

“Dalish traditions. Speaking of healing, I must be going. Master Adan will be looking for me soon.”

“Wildflower, you just got here!” Varric exclaimed.

“I’m helping test the potions that keep you alive in the field, Master Tethras.”

“Geez, you work as much as Curly here.”

Cullen cleared his throat, “Well, Almari is right. There is work to be done.”

As Almari stood to leave, she offered her goodbyes, bowing slightly in respect. Her eyes met Cullen’s for a moment, and he couldn’t help but smile.

The scent of the flowers lingered long after she left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I'm not dead, just busy and I fell back into Castlevania. Oops.

Fear was ice clogging her veins. _Templars.._ She could hear the echo of the screams of her Keeper telling her, “Run!” She knew a few Templars had joined the Inquisition. The ones who were called to the Temple of Sacred Ashes and survived caused little trouble. But with the Herald gaining more allies, more Templars and mages came. Did anyone know how dangerous they really were? She froze as she heard one of them call out,

“You there, elf!”

 _Blood on green leaves, hunted._ She forced away the memory as she turned and nodded, “Yes, Ser?”

“Come here.”

She knew better than to piss off a Templar. _Ghilan’nain, Mother of Halla, give me the speed of your favored child should I need it_ , she prayed silently. She willed her feet to be uprooted from the ground, moving towards three Templars.

“What can I do for you, Ser?”

The tallest of the Templars studied her for a second, “You’re a pretty one, for your kind at least. The flowers make you smell better. Why don’t we...have some fun, girly?”

_Run. Run away!_

The other two laughed when the tall one Templar grabbed her arm while she turned. She felt her magic flare in defense, the barrier knocking the offending Templar away. She heard him growl,

“Fucking knife-eared mage!”

A second later, the world was ringing, and everything was beginning to blur. How did she end up on the ground? Everything felt dull; someone had pulled her away from color and light. She reached out to find her magic and nothing answered. As the ringing in her ears slowly faded, she heard solid punches being landed against armor and skin. Gentle hands found her shoulders and helped her sit up. The language of the People reached her,

_“_ _It is not gone. It will come back._ _Relax, Lethal_ _l_ _in!”_

“Solas, get her away from here!” Cassandra ordered. Almari forced her legs underneath her and stood. She saw the offending Templar, and his friends surrounded by the rest of the soldiers, and Cassandra. Solas turned her away from the fight. Almari saw the glint of an iron shield with a lion motif lying forgotten in the snow as Solas lead her back within the gates of Haven and over to Varric, who, upon seeing the elf, immediately let her sit inside his tent. Still in shock, she could only listen to the two converse about her outside,

“What in the name of Andraste’s tits happened?”

“A group of Templar got out of hand,” Solas growled. “She’s been Silence, cut off from the Fade. For the average mage, it is difficult to deal with, but she chose Vir’Atishan, the way of peace. She’s a spirit healer and her connection with the Fade is stronger than most.”

“What’s being done with the Templars?’

“I’m sure they are being dealt with as we speak. Commander Cullen throws an impressive punch when the need calls for it. And Seeker Cassandra was not far behind.”

Almari’s eyes started tearing up. Her magic was gone for the foreseeable time. How would she be able to do anything? Varric peaked his head into the tent,

“Hey Wildflower, do you need anything?”

“No, thank you, Master Tethras.”

“Call me Varric, kid. Maybe get some rest. Feel free to stay here.”

Almari nodded her thanks and decided that Varric was right, that she should get some rest. Maybe she could still dream. It was a fools hope, she knew, but, maybe the Creators would be merciful and  She leaned against the small writing desk Varric managed to get into his tent, she felt her eyes close and her body drifting to sleep in complete darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silenced from a Commanders perspective.

He heard some of the new Templars start yelling, “You there, elf!” At first, he paid no mind to it, but he heard the sweetest voice respond to them. He looked up from his troops and saw her fiery hair, with wildflowers laced within, and watched her bronze eyes fill with fear. The world of clashing swords started to fade as he watched Almari walk towards the Templars.

The tall one grabbed her arm. Cullen dropped his shield.

Her magic flared in defense.

And then she fell to the ground.

The next thing Cullen knew, his fist was connecting with the tall Templars jaw. Rylen and Cassandra were not far behind him, and neither were some of the rest of his troops. Vaguely he heard the Seeker yelling orders to get Almari away from there. He took a second to look and saw Solas helping the other elf up. In that second, a sharp crack resounded and suddenly his nose was bleeding. It wasn’t long after he and the Templars were pulled away from each other. Cassandra was a _very_ strong woman, keeping him from the Templars by herself.

“Maker take you!” he yelled. “You’re a disgrace to this Inquisition and the Order!”

“Cullen! They’ll be dealt with! The Herald is on his way down, control yourself!”

He wrenched his arms free from her grasp, “Just get them out of my sight! An unarmed Healer for Andrastes sake!”

Cassandra guided him away from the Templars, who were being detained by the rest of his soldiers and forced him to sit by Iron Bulls tent. “Stay here. I’m going to get a healer for you.”

With huff of anger, he complied. As soon as Cassandra was out of earshot, Iron Bull laughed,

“Nice punch there Commander!”

Cullen simply nodded, before scooping up a handful of snow and pressing it to his face. The cold soothed his busted nose. Iron Bull continued,

“That elf has dealt with something. I’m not sure what. Her hands were practically shaking and in her walk there was fear. Her magic was defensive only. Most magic would have gone straight to offensive spells.”

“There’s a Dalish belief, Vir’Art...no, its Atishan. Vir’Atishan. She cannot harm anyone.”

Before the two could converse more, Cassandra was back with a healer in tow.

“Riannon will set your nose,” the Seeker informed him. Knowing he had no choice but the comply, he removed his hand from his face. Quickly, the rather young healer put her thumbs against the broken bone and give a quick shove to set the bone with a loud clicking noise. Cullen bit his lip as pain flared fast. It didn’t feel quite right, but, before he could voice his concern, Riannon was off. He glanced up at Cassandra,  
“Almari?”

“Varric’s guarding her right now. She’s in his tent, probably asleep. Other than being Silenced, she seemed unharmed.”

His eyes trailed to the white wildflowers that lingered in the mud, flowers that once had been woven into her beautiful hair,

“She was not unharmed.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almari wakes up after her ordeal with the Templars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Friends, so, my internet has been a little sketchy for the past 5 days or so, otherwise I would have posted sooner. My apologies! Also, as I am currently helping a friend of mine with some scripts for a podcast, this may update slightly more infrequently than it already is, and I apologize in advance for that as well.

It was night when Almari awoke. Immediately, she reached out for her magic, and found it was not yet back. She cursed, rather loudly apparently, as a very tired looking Varric poked his head in,

“Hey, language Wildflower.” He grinned, “How are you feeling?”

She hesitated, “It’s...It’s not back yet. It feels like half of me is dead.”

“Give it time. Solas explained that it would be a little extra difficult for you. Go get a warm meal, and go back to sleep. The more you take care of yourself, the better I think.”

“Thank you, Varric,” she said with a sad smile.

“Don’t mention it kid.”

Almari straightened herself as best as possible, despite the dried mud still left on her clothes, and her hair having half-fallen out of its braid, and left the tent. To be cut off from magic was to be cut off from life itself for her. Nothing around her felt as alive now as it had with her magic. Part of her wanted to hide until her magic was back, but, she knew that Varric was right; she should take care of herself. With a deep breath, she steeled her soul and made her way to the tavern.

She didn’t realize how late it was until she noticed that half of Haven was already asleep; the candles already have burned out in many tents and cabins for the night. But, at least the tavern’s fires were still lit. She entered and took one of many empty seats right at the counter, where Flissa eyed her,

“You look a little worse for wear. At least you don’t reek of horse today.”

“Is there anything hot left that I can get for two silver?”

“I’ve got some stew and bread left,” the barkeep told her with a gentle smile and a pat on her hand, before going to the kitchen. Almari set the two silver on the counter for her, and turned her attentions to the tavern. It was almost completely empty, saving a few of Leliana’s people devouring a meal like it was the first time they’d eaten in weeks, and Sera lying under the tables in a drunken stupor.

She never felt more alone.

The door opened with a whoosh of wind. In walked Commander Cullen, snow dusting the fur around his shoulders. _Run, fly! Leave!_ Almari’s instincts began to tell her. _Wait. There was a fight,_ she remembered. Cullen seemed to noticed her in that moment as well. He looked ashamed as he walked towards her. She nearly stood to leave, and probably would have, had it not been for Flissa coming back with her food. By the time she had thanked the bar keep and looked back towards the commander, he was already standing to the side of her, rather awkwardly she noted.

“Almari,” Cullen practically whispered. Her bronze eyes found his for a second, before she noticed the bit of dried blood around his nostrils and the bruising on the bridge of his nose. He continued, “The actions of the Templars were inexcusable. As they _were_ under my command, rest assured, they have been properly dealt with. I’m sorry.”

The elf considered his words for a minute. “It was not you who tore me away from my magic, so you do not apologize. I remember a fight, and Lady Cassandra yelling. Were you in that group?”

“I–uh, yes. I was.”

“I-I should thank you, then,” Almari said, suddenly becoming very interested at the dried mud on her skirt as she felt heat rising in her cheeks.

Cullen paused, “Thank me?”

“Well, yes. You did get the others to do no further harm, even when the cost to you was a broken nose.”

“In my experience, it was well worth it.”

Almari offered him a kind smile, and, against her better judgment, tapped lightly on the seat beside her, “The least you can let me repay you with a warm drink, it’s very cold out there.”

The commander started to protest, but Flissa (who had been listening in to the conversation as any good bar keep does), placed a mug of warm mulled cider in front of the empty chair. “I believe I will take you up on that offer,” he muttered as he sat, giving Flissa a look. The two sat in silence for a moment, allowing Almari to finish her meal. The elf turned to him after,

“I wish I could fix that bruise you’ve got there, but...but, my magic has not yet come back.”

The look of concern from the commander surprised her. “It’s been near half-a-day. Usually, magic will start to return by now.”

“No,” she shook her head, “not for me. Vir’Atishan, the Way of Peace, requires a deeper connection to the Fade than human mages are allowed to even dream of. Solas said that it may take longer.”

“Almari –”

“Please. Don’t apologize. You were not the one who Silenced me. Sylaise willing, it will come back soon.” Seeing Cullen raise an eyebrow in curiosity about one of the Creators, she smiled, “The Hearthkeeper. She brought us fire and taught us the ways of healing, and she is whom we ask for blessings of the home and family.”

“Is she the one your tattoos –”

“It’s called a vallaslin,” Almari quickly interjected. Cullen nodded,

“Is that whom your vallaslin is dedicated to?”

“No. While I may have heard Sylaise’s call, I always had a connection to halla. The Dalish ask halla to join our clans. The first halla I ever asked to join answered, and I was still young, too young to have had a halla answer so willingly according to my clan. They didn’t believe me when I returned to camp, with my halla following! But, he never answered to anyone but me. So, my vallaslin is for Ghilan’nain, Mother of Halla, our guide in travels. I just ask the horses in the same way I ask the halla to work with me.”

Cullen’s lips turned up into a smile. “That explains why you’re so good with Fiacha.”

“Well, he is an easy horse to deal with, compared to Malachite.”

“Don’t let the Herald hear you say that,” Cullen chuckled. The two lapsed into comfortable silence once more, but it was soon broken, as Almari failed to suppress a yawn. Guilt crept up in Cullen,

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you. You must be exhausted.”

“I’m –” she yawned again, “I’m fine, Cullen.”

His voice softened, “Almari, fine would imply that you aren’t about five minutes from falling asleep in the tavern.”

Almari was ready to argue in return, but instead yawned once more. She shook her head slightly to clear some of the tiredness that was creeping up on her. “Perhaps you’re correct,” she conceded. Cullen only hummed in agreement. The two walked out of the warm tavern, into the snowy Haven chill. The two walked a short distance together, their path lit by the dim torches of the night guards and the few campfires still glowing with embers. They would have walked farther had not a soldier, who had been looking for the commander, stopped them in their tracks.

“Ser, Captain Rylen is looking for you. We have a report from the Herald, regarding the Fallow Mire.”

Almari offered a sympathetic smile, “It never ends, does it.”

“No it doesn’t,” Cullen sighed.

“Goodnight, Commander.”

Before Cullen could wish her the same, the elf was already heading down the path to her tent and into the night where the torches had already burned to nothing. The soldier heard the commander whisper into the night,

“Goodnight, Almari.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few days later, people can't sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm not dead! Also, happy holidays. Also, I watched all of The Witcher in 1 day. And it was great, and I'd do it again.
> 
> As usual, unbeta'd, we die like men.

The sun was barely beginning to rise when Almari woke quickly from a sleep filled with nightmares instead of the usual gentle images and sounds of the Fade. Chills ran up and down her spine as her mind forced the images of her nightmares to the forefront of her thoughts. _Red blood, staining green leaves. Screaming, so much screaming, and the crackling of aravels burning behind her._ She felt her magic trying to flare in protection as her mind was wrapped in the tendrils of her nightmare. She closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the words of her Keeper when she couldn’t control her own thoughts, “Focus. Four things you can see, three you can touch, two you can hear, one you can smell.”

Four; her tent, her blankets, the little cup of water next to her, and the herbs hanging from the tent pole, drying.

Three; the blankets, the soft pillow, her hair in its braid.

Two; the early birds songs, humming from one of the guards men.

One; Embrium’s sweet fragrance.

As she counted, her mind slowed down. “It was just a dream,” she whispered to the dim morning light. “Just a dream.”

Knowing she wouldn’t get anymore rest, Almari decided that now was a good a time as any to collect the herbs from around the lake. She changed into her working clothes, wrapped a warm cloak around her, and left her tent.

Some stars were still shining pale silver in the west, as in the east, the sun started to change the sky from the gray of early morning to the pink-gold of sunrise. She had to be light on her feet, as many were still asleep. She crept down the stairs, and made it past the wall, with just the night watch noticing her, and nodding in acknowledgment. One of the soldiers, Rylen she remembered, stopped her just as she reached the door.

“It’s Almari, right?” he asked.

“Yes, Ser. I’m only collecting herbs.”

“Good...the Commander needs your help I think. He won’t say anything, but, he’s not been sleeping again,” he explained so rapidly Almari was barely able to catch what he was say.

“He should know by now –” She sighed, “I’ll see what I can do. Thank you, Ser.”

“Please, it’s Rylen. I think you know already, but the Lion is as stubborn as a mule.”

Almari looked to the doors, as she knew Cullen camped close to the rest of his men. With a final wave to Rylen, she went past the wall. Sure enough, she could see a dim fire lit just outside of the Commanders tent, and a shadowed figure sitting rather forlornly on a makeshift bench with just a thin blanket draped over their shoulders. The image of blood stained green flashed through her mind once more. As she walked towards the commander, she began to focus on her surroundings once more.

Four; the fire light, Cullen, the lightening sky, the lake.

Three; the cloak, gloves, the cold air.

Two; her footsteps crunching in the snow, the guards sounding off.

One; campfire smoke.

With a steadying breath, she spoke barely above a whisper, “Even you aren’t up usually this early, Cullen.”

Had he been more awake, Cullen probably would have jumped some, but the sheer _tiredness_ only allowed him to raise an eyebrow as he turned to her.

“You shouldn’t be up either,” he retorted. _Stubborn as a mule_ she reminded herself.

“No, but, I can at least spend this early morning being productive.”

Cullen stared at her for a moment, watching as she glanced towards the wall around Haven, particularly to where he knew a certain lieutenant of his would be standing.

“Rylen sent you, didn’t he.”

Almari gave him a sheepish grin, “Don’t be cross at him. He’s just worried about you.”

“I will be fine Almari –”

“If you say it’s only _some_ sleeplessness, I will tell the Herald you’re lying and have him make you take a couple days off. You need to sleep.”

“If you have a cure to forget the past, then please, let me know!” he snapped. He mentally cursed as he watched her face fall from a gentle teasing smile. _If you were taking lyrium, you wouldn’t have snapped_ the song that still clung to him whispered.

“I apologize, Cullen. I only want to help,” she told him. “and if I knew how to forget the past, I would gladly share it.”

“No, don’t apologize. I shouldn’t–” he sighed, “I shouldn’t have yelled, I’m sorry.” He wiped a hand over his eyes, trying to fend off the growing headache behind them. Almari sat next to him,

“Do you have nightmares?” she asked, her voice gentle.

Cullen couldn’t look at her. “Yes.”

“And you can’t seem to forget them later, your mind racing around all possibilities, and what could have happened if things were different?”

He inhaled slightly too sharp, “Yes. But only someone who knows what that’s like would be able to understand.”

“I understand.”

He turned and his eyes locked to hers. There was a sadness in those bronze eyes. She continued,

“Can I teach you something my Keeper taught me? It seems to help me regain focus at least, when everything is scattered, and you’re still half caught in a dream.”

“Anything that could help, I will listen.”

“Four things you can see, three you can touch, two you can hear, one you can smell. Follow along with me. I see the sunrise, the trees, the elfroot, the embers,” she began, motioning it each as it was named. “I can touch snow, my cloak, the bench,” she offered a corner of her cloak for Cullen to hold on to. “I hear the horses waking, and the soldiers armor clinking. I can smell the campfire smoke.”

Cullen looked to the things around him as she named them, and touched the same things as she did. He had never paid any real attention to all that was around him. He would have never seen the elfroot or notice clanging of armor as the soldiers walked along Haven’s perimeter, being around armor every day. The smell of the campfire turned calming, and he watched as the sky lightened some more, tapping his fingers against the bench. For a moment, there was silence in the world, and his mind, to his relief.

“Any better?” Almari whispered. She watched the commander’s shoulders relax half an inch.

“Some. I never noticed how much elfroot was here,” he said.

“It grows well in every environment, it’s very resilient. Cullen, if...if you need, and only if you allow, I could send you into a dreamless sleep, if it would help.”

A chill ran up his spine at the thought, “With magic?”

“Yes. I understand that Templars and mages do not share the same...values, with magic. But, when one is suffering in a Clan, those who can help them. Standard remedies do not seem to work for you, which leaves one option. My aid is in my magic, if you so wish it.”

Cullen remained silent, considering her words. _One suffering in a Clan_. “So, is the Inquisition your Clan now?” he asked, carefully. The fear he had said something wrong relaxed as she thought for a moment. She hummed,

“The non-stubborn humans at least are.”

“Oh I see, I’m excluded,” he laughed.

Almari smiled, “Yes. You in particular are excluded. And maybe the Herald. If he falls off the side of a mountain again, because of his own hubris, I’m not patching him up. He can deal with Healer Rhiannon,”

“How cruel. Perhaps I’ll warn the Herald of this treachery,” he teased.

“Treachery or not, I mean what I said. But,” she turned solemn once more, “that does not mean that my magic is not off the table for you. Consider it. But, will you try and sleep, even if only for a few hours?”

Cullen looked over at her, and though incredibly tired, he still managed a small smile, “I will try, Almari. Four, three, two, one, correct?”

She smiled in return, “Yes. I’ll tell the Herald to give you a break today. Healer’s orders, and no one can argue with that.”

With that, Almari stood to start her original task of gathering elfroot. Before she was two steps from the fire, the commander spoke,

“Almari?”

She turned back to him.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime, Commander.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversation: Solas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short conversation with Solas (and in the future, the rest of the companions and inner circle).

“Almari is it? Speak with me for a moment.”

Almari, whom had just been aiding in the creation of potions in Master Adan's cabin, nodded at the hedge mage as he called her over.

There was a strange kindred feeling between the two; one being Dalish whom willingly joined, and one being an elf, neither city nor Dalish. And it helped that both were magically inclined.

“Master Solas.”

“Please, just Solas. I am a master of none. Tell me, how did a mage wind up here?”

Almari studied the other elf for a second, “Could ask the same of you, with no clan or any city connections.”

Solas smirked, “Yes, because being tied to those two designations is all our people are meant for. One, stuck in the past, and the other so desperately trying to hold on to their heritage _and_ be more acceptable to humans, it's a lost battle on either front.”

“What do you mean stuck in the past?”

“I mean that the Dalish have been doing the same things for centuries, keeping to what they believe is right.”

“Seems to have worked out, besides the odd run in with _shems_.”

“Yet, you’re doing something different. A Dalish First? Willingly joining the Inquisition?”

Almari crossed her arms and gestured up to the Breach, “Well, that thing in the sky seems to be the root of my problems. So, fix the problem, move on.”

“Back to the clan after this then?”

Solas was no stranger to picking apart lies to find a truth. He watched her body curl in slightly, and her eyes stayed glued to the Breach. She was trying to hide in plain sight.

“No. Not back to the clan. I’ve broken so many traditions.”

“Perhaps it’s better that way. I’ve heard that you’re caused quite an upheaval around here, particularly with the Lion. You argued with him over the safety of accepting aid from the mages in our efforts”

In addition to knowing how to spot a lie, Solas knew very well how to poke and prod at the emotions of others.

Almari turned her eyes from the Breach back to the hedge mage, “Yes well, we’re not all terrible. And hopefully he’s learning that, since all the other healers are afraid to go near any Templar, or ex-Templar since their circles fell.”

“So, you take it upon yourself then?”

“A First cares for the members of their Clan no matter how stupid or stubborn they are, a First also teaches them when they’re wrong, and he learned.”

“Ah, learning. Is that what the Dalish are calling it these days? Is it still learning after he willing punched Templars who were harassing you?”

Almari couldn’t fight the blush that rose to her cheeks. “He’d have done the same for any other mage nowadays.”

Solas raised an eyebrow, “Of course. But you’re a spirit mage, it’s very different.”

“Vir Atish'an just means that I heard Sylaise and answered, and choose to do no harm, and heal all I can.”

“It also means you are very close to the Fade. And I for one, find the Fade fascinating. My journeys in my dreams take me far, and I find the remains of old battlefields, and ancient kingdoms. I wonder what a spirit healer sees.”

Almari opened her mouth to answer, but her reply was stopped as she and Solas heard Varric call out from afar.

“Hey, Chuckles, we need to go. Jasper has work for us!”

Solas sighed, “Another time, perhaps.”

“Yes, another time. You bring tea, and I’ll tell you what my dreams are like.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, here's my first time writing for Dragon Age. Let me know what y'all think. Rating is subject to change in the future and tags will be added accordingly.


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